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{some girls suck} copper set This is not addressed to every girl. But it is addressed to many girls. With that, I have been dying to say: I am so sick of you, bullshit girls. You have complained for decades now that you live in a patriarchal society. That the world is run by men. That the playing field is tilted in the masculine direction. But in the end, you’ve used this against us: you parade around in your war paint and dresses, shifting your ass in the air. And yes, I will admit: me and my brethren are not smart enough to stand strong against this cold front. Against your draft. Your war. Your intolerable vomit. And so, let’s not act as though you’ve outsmarted us. You’ve just used our stupidity against us. And laugh as you may, but I will have you know that it took you thousands of years to get here. It is true: In the end, you benefit from our primordial need to spread our seed. But now, please: shut up about your power. Shut up about your inadequacy. You have more power than me and he and the next person standing in line, together. Shut up. I heard that feminism was a scam. But now it is your gold currency. You have us by the balls and this is exactly why I don’t look you in the eyes. Even if we know each other and have histories that intersect – this is exactly why I don’t acknowledge your presence. My eyes darting away from you mean to say: fuck you. Shut up about your liberation. Your inequality. Your battle to figure out your independence. You have more power than I ever will just with your stupid heaving liquid cunt and your soft brain, to-boot. Even when I’m nodding along in conversation, I should probably let you know: You don’t impress me. Truth be told: I don’t even think you know what you’re really saying. I think you act on unmitigated emotion and you let popular opinion rule your days and your lifestyle. Apart from being a neat sociological observation, I probably just think you’re wearing a cute skirt. I think about how your cunt is shaved. I ponder if your menstrual cycle is waxing or waning – or if you are just always a bitch. I wonder what I can get away with. I wonder how dumb you really are. But let’s not get it wrong: I love girls. And not all girls are bullshit girls. Some girls are thoughtful. Some are intelligent. Some shy from convention – in fashion, in manner and in lifestyle. But for the most part I wonder: where are these girls? Where are the girls of intrigue, of grace, of sophisticated sexuality? Some may scoff at my assertion that girls don’t play by the same rules that men do. To that I say: bullshit. I say, you and I both go to the bar and try to order a drink. At a crowded bar, I can stand for fifteen minutes, waiting for a drink. You, on the other hand, in less than three. What this tells me is: girls play by very different rules than boys. Bullshit girls typically have solid social networks. They have options. They receive invites. They go to parties. They receive attention. They get diamond rings and are the recipients of chivalry and other forms of historical etiquette. It’s acceptable for bullshit girls to be temperamental. Fragile. Emotional. And the rest of humanity is forced to oblige these things. Sure you carry babies in your bellies and are forced to undergo a whole battery of physical unpleasantries that no man can really understand. But I have heard mythological tales of women that handle their business, that don’t expect men to bow to them. To watch their ass when they get up from their seat. And more than this: boys are stupid. Primal. And we only feed your bullshit fire. We men see something that is pretty on the outside, on you – and can get easily bamboozled into accepting something of a lesser beauty inside of you. Sometimes it even appears to match your airbrushed exterior. Yes, like golf (which do we know, is an acronym for: Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden) – handicaps in the real world can level the playing field. But I’ve heard so many embarrassing things from my contemporaries that when I hear something that simply isn’t retarded from a cute girl – I employ the handicap measure and find her to typically be 10 to 20 times smarter than she really is. There has been this myth: that men do not understand the fundamentals of communication. To that, I say: bullshit. You women are like LSD: You obfuscate and twist everything into a ball that we chase like cats, incessantly reaching for the other – unobtainable – side. Only recently have I come to understand the colloquialism that blacks use: “Girl, you’re tripping”. Sometimes, when I’m talking with my female contemporaries, I feel my molecules begin to separate. Like butter. Since I was a child, I have been hallucinating in your honor – thank you. Since I was an adolescent I have been tripping over my words – thank you. Since I became an adult, over that bleary line, I have seen things that weren’t even real. Not to believed. Thank you. I have learned so much on account of your obfuscations. Now, I don’t become red in the face. I just note the fact that you’re wearing a cute dress that I can see your panties through; and your legs look good in those heels. Fuck you bullshit girls. I will not play your game. And really, I will twist your mess of reality into a hypochondriacs dream: I will say what I mean. I will return your phone calls. I will not act holier-than-thou. I will buy my own drinks. …and not yours. Fuck you bullshit girls. Your time is over. Soon, the asylums and graveyards of our world will be full of your kind. |
