{on the value of masturbation and pornography} Andrew RL

{on the value of masturbation and pornography}

andrew rl

Pornography has been around in one form or another since at least 3,000 B.C. Today, I'm going to argue that, despite all the moralizing about it and social stigma related to it, pornography actually serves a very useful and necessary function in adult male sexuality.

The Demonization of Pornography
Pornography has been accused over the years of everything from objectifying and subjugating women (a common feminist trope) to being directly responsible for the breakdown of society and traditional moral values (the religious right) and trivializing rape (Andrea Dworkin, another feminist).

As an aside, isn't it interesting how the religious right and feminist left can agree that pornography is bad, but for different reasons? Curious.

I think understanding why pornography is a good thing requires an understanding of why many groups demonize it. We'll start with the right wing.

Wreck on the Right
A lot of right wing values are inherited from either Victorian-era morality or Puritanism; and both Puritanism and Victorianism are descended from European-styled moral systems. That is, they are characterized by tradition, the rule of law, and, in Victorianism, an involuted, repressive code of "decency".

(I think the Victorians in particular had to evolve these inward-looking, repressive moral codes because they were newly rich, didn't know how to handle their wealth, and were afraid that it would take control of them).

To these Victorian or Puritannical moral codes, pornography, that is -- the production of sexually-arousing material for "consumption" and "use" (with masturbation) -- is equally shocking, but for different reasons.

For the Puritans, self-pleasure is slothful: it's not generative (no eggs are being fertilized), it's not reproductive, it has no purpose except to the person doing it (personal gratification) and is therefore not a valuable or worthwhile activity (it benefits too few people). This makes sense not only from the standpoint of a society engaged in a constant struggle for survival (early Puritan settlements), but also for a society that prizes selflessness and self-sacrifice, and punishes selfishness.

I can't resist taking a swipe at the hypocrisy of the right-wing morality given recent Congressional scandals (Mark Foley and his predation of underage pages, Catholic priests and altar boys). The right has no monopoly on moral hypocrisy, though, and conventional wisdom says that those who are most outspoken about a moral outrage are usually also the most secretly guilty of it, anyway.

The only other thing I'll say is that the right wing often has religious values tied up in prohibitions against pornography and attendant masturbation -- passages from the Bible to the effect that "looking at another man's wife in lust should cause you to gouge out your eye" and "Onan was killed by God for spilling his seed on the ground" taken out of context by Biblical literalists.

So much for right wing morals. Let's look at the left...

Lost on the Left
The feminist critique of pornography usually revolves around the fact that pornography "objectifies" and "subjugates" women -- that is, it shoots women as secondary accessories to the primary goal of the male orgasm, to be used in whatever position or combination is necessary to pleasure the male. The critique usually continues that, since pornography is so male-centered (and doesn't focus on women's pleasure enough), it teaches men unrealistic attitudes towards women, builds up unrealistic sexual expectations, and encourages violence towards women.

Feminists are absolutely right in this critique -- to a point. Pornography IS male-centered. It IS all about the male orgasm. This is by necessity, not be design; since women's arousal centers don't work in the same way as a man's, pornography aimed at women or about women will never catch on (the readership of Playgirl never caught on, except with gay men). Most women are simply temperamentally unable to enjoy and be aroused by pornography in the same way that men are (except a select group of women that has adopted male arousal patterns, to some extent) -- because women are not built to be aroused by visual images.

So if pornography is designed, directed, written, and produced by men, with a male audience in mind, how in the world could feminists expect the women to be anything other than accessories to the goal of a male orgasm? The "money shot" of porn is the most ubiquitous proof of this -- female orgasms, while interesting and noteworthy, are too easy to fake, and a means to the end of the male orgasm in any case.

(As an interesting aside, the money shot -- male actor ejaculating on a woman's face or body -- is a small act of disrespect that may psychologically carry the weight of reprisal for a thousand slights and rejections modern men receive from women in feminized society. Yes, some men beat women to work out this anger, but simply ejaculating on their faces seems to be a much more adaptive method, and one that I think most women would prefer, if given the choice).

Pornography is designed to get men off -- for reasons we'll explore in a moment -- and feminists crowing against his fact are missing the point by a million miles.

Feminists should actually consider modern pornography a major victory for the women involved. Female porn actresses not only get paid lots of money to do something that comes naturally to them, they are usually having sex with well-hung studs who know how to handle their business in bed (that is, last longer than 30 seconds). The average porn film depicts male-centered sex, yes, but male-centered sex that at least looks (and probably is) more enjoyable and pleasurable for the woman than anything going on in the "average" American bedroom (where couples have sex for an average 8.5 minutes from foreplay to finish).

I think it's one of the biggest and dirtiest unspoken truths of the sex industry that the women involved, in many cases, are loving it -- whether prostitutes or porn actresses, these women are getting paid to have sex.

To the often-used charge of "exploitation" of women in pornography -- any investigation into the U.S. porn industry and its regulation quickly dispatches that straw man. Women offer their sexuality up willingly in exchange for money -- nobody holds a gun to their heads.

A perfect case study of this tired feminist rhetoric is Linda Lovelace, the actress in Deep Throat, who after early in her career making such statements as I dig doing it. I want everybody to see it. And I make good money....I don't have any inhibitions about sex.... I just hope everybody who goes to see the film enjoys it and maybe learns something from it.
Not ten years later, after being befriended by Gloria Steinem (and other feminist), she said:When you see the movie Deep Throat, you are watching me being raped. It is a crime that movie is still showing; there was a gun to my head the entire time. (Xyclopedia)
Woah. Sounds like a case of backwards rationalization to me. So much for the left.

So why does pornography exist at all? Why create arousing material with the express purpose of getting men off?

The Function of the Male Orgasm
In human males, like in most primates, sperm are stored in a testicle sac external to the body, to improve the sperm's shelf life by keeping them cooler.

In many primates, male masturbation is observed to occur frequently prior to mating; it has been conjectured that masturbation in this context serves the function of "clearing out" older and less-viable sperm and prompting the generation of newer and healthier sperm prior to mating, to give the best chance of conception (Baker and Bellis, 1993 & 95)

So regular orgasm for males may provide a similar function; on the other hand, they may simply serve as a relaxation and mental-health aid. It was Cynthia Payne, renowned Madame of late 20th century England, who famously commented:

Men are all right as long as they get regular sex, but if they're not regularly despunked, they're a bleeding nuisance.

Oxytocin levels rise during male orgasm three to five times greater than baseline (Carmichael et all 1987); other neurotransmitters and hormones (including dopamine, testosterone, prolactine, serotonin and opioids) have interacting roles in the sense of well-being and calm that typically follows orgasm.

Many men report a post-orgasm "high" lasting from a matter of minutes to several hours and including a sense of wellbeing, an elevated, more focused "higher" state of relaxation and ability to concentrate. I think we can safely lay these subjective effects at the feet of neurochemical and hormonal effects, and agree they are good for men and for everyone said man has to interact with subsequently.

Given that pornography generally makes it easier for men to reach orgasm unaided by a sex partner, I close my argument that pornography is inherently valuable if for no other than this "pressure-relief valve" function.

Female Denigration of Pornography and Masturbation
A lot of women will say things like, "Yeah, go have fun with your hand, loser" or denigrate pornography and attendant masturbation as "unmasculine" -- "A REAL man doesn't watch porn. A REAL man can get a WOMAN." There is a lot of interest, in modern popular culture, in drawing a connection between a "loser" personality and masturbation.

Without knowing when or where this trend started, I can say without reservation that it is completely counterproductive. It inspires men to feel bad about pleasing themselves, particularly when they have no other choice -- no girlfriend or wife -- and when they ought to be focusing on how they can feel better about themselves, and therefore attract a girlfriend or wife.

Guys with low self esteem don't do well in the dating game, and lonely guys who masturbate for the brief neurochemical lift -- and then are encouraged to feel ashamed of this -- are basically building neuroses into themselves that may impede their success with women for years.

In the meantime, women are encouraged to masturbate because it's "liberating" and "empowering"? So when a guy masturbates or uses pornography, he's pathetic -- but when a women does the same, she's a hero of feminism. Talk about double standards.

There have to be some reasons women started this whole "shaming" trip. Here are some suggestions:

1) Women hate (and love) competition.
To start, it's pretty obvious that many women feel threatened by pornography -- literally threatened by the images of female beauty they see portrayed in porn films -- blond, beautiful, perfect, with big symmetrical (fake) breasts, clean-shaven genitalia and a willingness and ability for multiple orgasms and unconventional sex acts and position that most women are either frightened of performing or unable to perform. Women are intimidated by porn actresses, and afraid their boyfriends and husbands will start making greater sexual demands on them, and maybe even a little jealous of these women, whose sex lives are so much more glamorous and money-filled than their own -- so instead of 'fessing up to these insecurities, they demonize porn instead.

2) No fair! We want penises!
Another reason may be that women are jealous of men's ability to "take care of themselves" with a minimum of fuss -- given that masturbation is about as easy as trimming one's fingernails, and a lot more rewarding. Some women masturbate, but given how ephemeral the female orgasm can be (sometimes moreso even to women themselves than to their partners), it's understandable that the ease and function of male masturbation may generate a sense of frustration and jealousy on a female observer's part.

3) You could have put that thing to better use
Finally, an erection and orgasm generated by pornography is an erection and orgasm that had nothing to do with a real-live woman -- and, in that sense, women may consider it a shameful "waste", given how much female sexual pleasure that erection could be produced. In truth, the male use of pornography fulfills the same function that many women proudly and loudly proclaim can be fulfilled by a plastic battery-operated toy. Women often crow that men can be replaced by vibrators or dildos, but I think they are just trying to get back at us for occasionally replacing the labor-intensive seduction process and spine-tingling sex that they love with five or ten minutes of no-worries, no-fuss, on-demand self-love.

Ultimately, I think both genders harbor some measure (no matter how small) of fear of being "replaced" -- women by porn and blow-up dolls, men by plastic and batteries. Hence the typical demonization by both sides of their "artificial" rivals. And for this reason nobody with any sense will advocate completely "swearing off" actual, biological, interactive sex -- dildos and vibrators can desensitize women physically to their partner's fingers or cock just as easily as hardcore porn can desensitize men psychologically to feminine beauty and arousal.

NOTE: Astute readers will already be aware that the real "female pornography" is romance novels, not dildos; I don't belabor this point because I think women and their romance novels deserve an entirely separate article.

Pornography is Fantasy
For all the reasons and reasoning above, I think pornography is a wonderful and necessary tool in every man's toolkit of physical, sexual and mental health.

But I do have a parting word of caution about the world of pornography and getting caught up in it.

Everything you see on a screen when you watch porn is covered by a sheen of money. That hot young 18-year-old is taking it in the ass from that ugly, hairy, smelly, fat balding 50-year-old not because she finds him attractive, but because he gave her $3,000 in cash right before the cameras turned on. Odds are she's probably faking those moans of ecstasy while calling him "baby".

Now, it may be possible, in the Real World, for that hot little 18-year-old to agree to take it in the ass from an ugly, hairy, smelly, fat balding 50-year-old without the promise of money; but in that case, that balding 50-year-old probably has some wicked tight game.

Pornography, as entertaining and enjoyable as it often is, is a poor and distorted reflection of actual human sexuality precisely because everything you see is a result of a financial transaction, and a carefully-spun fantasy.

The women in pornography are sexual athletes -- they are good at sex because it is their job. This is also true for the male actors, and this makes viewing porn a somewhat unrealistic experience that can 'distance' people from the reality of sex, if it's not balanced with actual encounters with real women.

Don't Worry, Get Happy
Despite a formidable anti-pornography PR campaign, men everywhere are unlikely to give it up. Some notable feminist scholars are actually calling out the farce of porn-bashing (Camille Paglia comes to mind).

And with media voices like Howard Stern, Adam Corolla, Tom Leykis, and me, the glories of the sacred act of masculine self-love are unlikely to go unsung anytime soon.

Visit Andrew and read more of his work at: www.realitymethod.com.