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{the sleeping myth of sisyphus} jack wilder The darkest night of my life lasted for several years. Episodes came and went, with me falling on my face in public and private, my fists in my pockets and my whole body shaking from the inside, out. For periods I drank water just so I had something to let loose, down my face. And while these paralyzing episodes swelled and faded, one piece of writing endured. In it I found clarity and the power to quell my unending self-pity. To this day, this piece of writing is the most important piece of literature I have ever known, it is a collection of essays by Albert Camus entitled, The Myth of Sisyphus. In this work, I found not only medicine for myself, but also application for all the sleeping people around me. To encapsulate: Camus centers his work around Sisyphus, that Greek god who was condemned for all of eternity to roll a boulder up a mountain. In the tale, Sisyphus rolls a rock up to the summit of the mountain, to which end the rock would fall back to the plain again. Here, Sisyphus was forced to walk down to the base of the mountain, get behind the boulder, and push it back up to summit again. Wherein the rock would always fall back down the mountainside. For eternity the cycle would repeat itself. Camus found importance in this myth at a particular point: When Sisyphus let go of that rock, so that it could fall back down to the plain. This is the point where Sisyphus is, as Camus writes, "aware of the extent of his entire wretched condition". For Camus this was important because Sisyphus is conscious, or aware. In this way Sisyphus is the perfect illustration of Camus' entire philosophy. Because of the notion of consciousness. To explain more clearly, an explanation of what is at stake, is of the utmost importance. Camus is most interested in working with the idea of the Absurd. For Camus, the Absurd is that fundamental conflict between what we want from the universe (meaning, order, or reasons) and what we find in the universe (formless chaos and sometimes, no reasons). Camus, like I have always believed, thought that we will never find the grand, overarching meaning that we so desperately desire to find. Camus believed that because of this, we will seek meaning through some form of logical acrobatics such as placing our hopes in the idols of religion. Because if we don't find some alternative means by which we can create meaning, life begins to look empty and as though it contains no meaning at all. In this, Camus says, we are faced with the only true question of philosophy: Why not commit suicide? If meaning is not written in the stars, then is life not worth living? Historically, it has appeared that there are simply two ways of living in the face of the fact that life is absurd and void of meaning: Suicide or religion. However, Camus pursues an alternative, a third option. That option says that we can indeed accept and live in this world which is devoid of meaning or purpose. For Camus, standing and facing the Absurd is where the valor and virtue of living is. Suicide is cowardly. Living with the absurd, is a matter of facing this fundamental contradiction within reality and maintaining constant awareness of it. Facing the absurd does not have to involve suicide, or even religion, but instead, it can involve living life to its fullest. Moreover, the responsibility is on the shoulders of the individual, no one else. I create my meanings. I create my responsibility. I create the kind of world around me that I wish. I am not the center of the world, but merely a part of it, and in this, I will not take everything personally. Everybody lives with their strains and pains, but what is important is how you navigate through those days. And while I should probably be employing this exact prescription for my self, I am instead handing it out in shape of M&M's; sugar-coated and small? What Camus maintains, and what I have found value in, is in this idea of remaining conscious and aware. For when you walk through the world with your eyes open, instead of closed, the omens along your road begin to sparkle. The obstacles begin to dwindle and like some great puzzle you find the unspoken route, down the uneven sidewalk of your life. |
