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{dream life invaders} phil ginsburg I need a restraining order on people Who keep appearing in my dreams uninvited An ex-pastor appears at least twice a week in my dreams to remind me That he died and went to heaven and was allowed to return to earth To offer a select group of people discount prices On his time share apartment in Paradise Located only a block from King David’s condo I could tell it was just another one of those out-of-the body real estate scams You read about on the internet Or Nicole Kidman, who shows up in my dreams at least once a week offering me Over priced face cream products guaranteed to make me look ten years younger I asked her if I looked ten years younger Would she go out with me? She said she might consider it I could tell she was just acting and didn’t mean it I bought the products anyway just to get rid of her Then there’s Phil Jackson, the former coach of the Los Angeles Lakers, who every so often berates me in front of the entire team for not hustling and getting back on defense Of course, next year I’ll be a free agent But I think I might be dreaming that another NBA team will pick up my contract Oh, and how about this? Two nights ago, Mr. Duthie, my high school math teacher (The same Mr. Duthie who flunked me in Algebra I and II) Shows up in a dream I asked him how he ended up in my dreams? He said he found me on “Limbic Links” It seems for $89.00 a year this website offers a complete dream intrusion course Called ‘From A to Zzzz’s” And it’s perfectly legal Except in Montana Well, my Mr. Duthie dream was harmless enough He told me he wanted to play ping pong And how his wife died and whatever friends He had left were restless sleepers Who didn’t dream much about anything anymore He simply didn’t have anybody else he could ask I kind of felt sorry for him Besides, I went to summer school those two years And made up both courses I understood the Algebraic applications later in life After I finally figured out y my x left me for another guy I played him a game Let him win And then told him I had to go I lied You can lie in dreams It goes on all the time The thing is there’s no dream invasion insurance You can’t put a pit bull around your subconscious Or a ring of fire around your rem With dreams you’re just thrown into a story With characters you may or may not want to be with Who often react in ways you have no control over Come to think of it, my waking life is a lot like that Thankfully, not all my dreams are invasive, some are heroic The other night I dreamed I ran into a burning building to rescue people One of those I saved was Nicole Kidman I don’t think she recognized me Probably because I looked ten years younger. |
