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{these are my answers} mat snapp I don’t know enough about the world and I’m not afraid to admit it. I use too much shampoo in the shower. I like to bring my own snacks into the theater. I was trying to answer something important and this happened instead. I know what to do with a banana tree. I borrow towels from resort swimming pools. I think the following words sound dangerous: Machete, billable, punctual, lost. I don’t wear shoes most of the time. I can sing along with rap music if I want to, but only in the chorus. I own nice clothes. I own thrift store gems that are objects of subculture envy. I talk to my mother on the telephone. I can dance. I could stay in bed forever if someone would deliver Chinese food there. I’m scared of motorcycles, but will jump from any height with proper equipment. I have nice cologne that doesn’t make my eyes water. I make people laugh. I don’t wear my pants below my ass, ever. I’m a good kisser. I know how to make a good martini. I would never wear jean shorts. I know what the word verisimilitude means and can use it in a sentence. I’ve read more than three books. I tend to repeat myself. I’ve been naked in front of people I don’t know. I do laundry at odd hours. I don’t know who played second base for the 1979 Dodgers, but I feel the importance of October every time it comes around. I own CDs with good music on them, some without words. I know who Charlie Parker is. I can bench press my own weight but couldn’t win a body building contest. I own a pink scooter that used to be fun and a joke but is now a lawn ornament in the backyard. I don’t like cats. I can inhale a filter-less cigarette without coughing if I need to, though I hate the taste of tar and nicotine in my throat. I can’t hit a real curve ball anymore. I understand wine and have bottles in a rack but like cheap beer too. I pee standing up unless I’m hungover or on crutches. I laugh out loud when I think something is funny. I have hair that is conditioned and soft and fun to play with. I’ve had girlfriends and I’ve had one-night stands. I don’t mess up the pasta when I cook it. I always hit the snooze button. I own a cowboy hat but am allergic to horses. I have showering habits that are regular and normal. Most pornographic material makes me uncomfortable. I think ponytails are better. I don’t worry about my weight. I could be addicted to coffee and Saturdays. My handwriting isn’t as clear as it used to be. I wouldn’t mind staying home with the kids. I’ve been arrested but never in jail for longer than two hours. I consider myself a writer but don’t talk about it. I think I understand the clitoris. I have too many pillows on my bed, and I seldom arrange them in any significant pattern. I own a vacuum, it is rarely used. I like asparagus and most other vegetables. My car is not old or rusty and it has a CD player that works most of the time. I have a leather jacket that I only wear on special occasions. I can speak French after drinking a bottle of wine. I’ve broken bones before and been to the emergency room. I like green gum and blue chapstick. I like independent film but will also anxiously stand in line for whatever Vin Diesel is in. I can type 90 words a minute. I used to be able to say the alphabet backwards. I appreciate candlelight. I write on my hands all the time. I dream too much. I don’t blame daily crises on September 11th. I have bad credit. I get along with teachers and professors but seldom say much in class. My tongue is pierced. I understand most political issues but have decided that they don’t deserve discussion. I have a strong handshake. I don’t tuck in my shirt unless there’s a church involved. I dance on the coffee table when no one else is home. I have a pink bathrobe with sheep jumping over a fence embroidered above the pocket. I have a subscription to Playboy for the articles. And the pictures. I never liked Star Trek, but did have a problem with Nintendo for a while. I know my way around Manhattan and I’m not afraid of the subways. I can’t change my own oil, but might learn. I think the WWF is silly. I delivered pizza when I was 17 and served drinks when I was 19. I am better with kids than I am with old people. I know how to say several things in Spanish. I prefer the philosophy of aesthetics. I help my younger sister with her homework, when I understand it. I can do a handstand. I lock my keys in my car. I need music to fall asleep. I’ve accidentally burned my eyebrows off my face. Twice. I eat slowly and don’t shave every day. I have flashbacks of dirty bars in Mexico every time I drink tequila. I think black pens feel lawyerish. I’m scared of failing. I don’t like cheese pizza, it seems too plain. I own a bow tie but only because I found one in a parking lot. I don’t read books on the treadmill. I have tattoos but don’t talk about them. I have black rimmed glasses that make me feel smarter when I wear them. I think that roses should be reserved for Tuesdays instead of red-gesture occasions. I am fascinated by office supply stores. I miss my 5th grade teacher. I have crushes on famous people. I called myself “Fluffy” until I was in kindergarten. I don’t let people in. I regret never learning to play the piano. I don’t mind falling asleep in public. I think old jeans with holes in the knees are better than new jeans with holes in the knees. I can’t sing very well but I try all the time. I don’t understand people who hit children or dogs. I trust my parents. I squeeze the toothpaste from the middle. I write messages in mirror fog. I accelerate at yellow lights. I tend to repeat myself. I don’t agree with chiropractors. I can’t find my keys sometimes. I like new things, but am scared of change. I have lived on an island, in the desert, and in the mountains. I sleep on my stomach most of the time. I overdraft my bank account on a regular basis. I refuse to wear my contact lenses all day. I don’t own my own power tools yet. I have friends who are having babies on purpose. I require caffeine. I am frequently hugged. I forget what I wanted to say. I will never play basketball competitively. I don’t mind not knowing what is supposed to happen next. I am wondering if you know me already. |
